There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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