it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize