wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
