I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
why do cheetos always look like penises
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
