I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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