apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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