Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
