I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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