they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
