Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
