YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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