Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
All the doctor said was why
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
