Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
