I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
