That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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