I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
