Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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