if you like me you must not know who I am
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
