well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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