People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
