the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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