i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
