she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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