so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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