i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
