i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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