For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
