Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Shame - the story of my life.
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