I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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