Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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