mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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