you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Panties = found
Randomize
