Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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