he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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