I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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