I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
