So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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