It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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