Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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