Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
