Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
