I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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