Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
