That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
