a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
