his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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