btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
