hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
