Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The feeling are messing with the penis
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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