nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
