I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
