Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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