ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
