My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
