Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
