Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
