worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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