Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
