You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
